ONE LINER JOKES

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.

A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her newboyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. --Sue Murphy

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not? If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me!

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

Meet Single Girls and Guys for Dating!

Paralumun New Age Village