MEXICAN JOKES
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence"
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
.....Mexican Jokes submitted by Alan.
Why does a Mexican eat Tomales for Christmas?
So they have something to unwrap
What kind of cans are there in Mexico?
Mexicans.
Why did God give Mexicans noses?
So they'll have something to pick in the winter.
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
Mexican Jokes submitted by Steve.
Why doesnt mexico have a olympic team? Because every mexican that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!
Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
Me neither!
Why does a Mexican re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem?
"Attention K-Mart shoppers."
What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook?
"Steal a chicken"
How do you get 100 Mexicans is a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in it.
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive"
The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
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