WORK JOKES
1) MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a
marketing degree to avoid having to study in college,
concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is
pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.
2) SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as
"marketing without a degree". You are also self centered and
paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their
money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can
"concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.
4) ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied
in school. It is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads
are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself; your
office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.
However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal
tunnel syndrome".
6) HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to
confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip
within the organization. Possibly the only other person that
does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any
calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch and
then mail a letter.
7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet
completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number
of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to
marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in you social
circle is a "Middle Manager."
8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT: See above - Same sign, different
title.
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in
the Midwest, a young woman trains employees in proper dress
codes and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually
dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a
little casually today, aren't we?"
The man shrugged, "Yeah, well, that's one benefit of owning
the company."
A Government Employee sits in his office and out of
boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He
pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass
lamp. "This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so
he takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him
three wishes.
"I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!"
POOF!
A Pepsi appears before him on his desk, so he picks it up and
guzzles it all at once.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second
wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful
nymphomaniacs reside."
POOF!
Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him
lustfully.
He then tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd
never have to work ever again."
POOF!
He's back in his government office.
3) TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal
life, you are instead content to completely control
everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU
don't understand what you are saying but who the heck can
tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
5) ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school.
You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most
feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme
organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you
say that you are completely insane. Oh, and usually the first
to be incarcerated.