CAT JOKES
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom cat leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?"....Cat Jokes by Andy.
On the first day of creation, God created the cat....
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat....
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat....
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat....
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it....
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke....
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to scoop the litterbox....
Yes, it's a cat's world after all. Amen!....Cat Jokes by Peter........
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where
he meets Saint Peter himself.
Saint Peter says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if
there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable,
please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Peter, all my life I
have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden
floor."
Saint Peter stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a
wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming
accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, Saint Peter
is there to greet them with the same offer.
The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased. We have
had to run from the cat, dogs, and even women with brooms.
Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you
think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to
run anymore?"
Saint Peter says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with
beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later, Saint Peter stops by to see the cat and
finds him snoozing on the pillow.
Saint Peter gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things
since you got here?"
The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful
here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those
'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"....Cat Jokes by Susan.
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