BLONDE JOKES
Have you heard the latest blonde joke?" "Hey, can't you see I'm blonde?" "Oh, that's all right. I'll tell it very slowly and explain any big words."A blonde orders a takeout pizza. The waiter asks, "Shall I cut it into six or twelve pieces." "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone.
Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY? A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row........
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
Q: What's the mating call of the redhead? A: "Next!"
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A SHOPPING CART?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q.Why won't anyone hire a blonde for a cattle herder?
A.because they can't keep two calves together.
Q.How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A.wave to her.
Q.How do you drown a blonde?
A.put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
There was a guy and he had a blonde girlfriend. She called him at work
one morning and told him that she couldn't get any of the jigsaw puzzle
pieces to fit together. He asked her what the picture was and she said
it was a rooster. He came over and walked into the kitchen. Then he
said,"Oh god honey, put the cornflakes back in the box!"
A blonde went to Wal-Mart and saw a rack of thermoses on sale. She asked
the salesperson what they were and she told the blonde that thermoses
keep hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold. The blonde bought the thermos
and took it to work the next day. Her friend at work asked her what she
had in her thermos and she replied,"coffee and a popsicle."
There was a red-head, a brunette, and a blonde who went into the docters
office for a pre-natal exam. The doctor asked the red-head who was on
top and she replied,"he was." The doctor told her she would have a little
boy. He asked the brunette who was on top and she replied,"I was." The
doctor told her that she would have a little girl. Before the doctor
could ask the blonde anything, she said,"Oh no, I'm not going to have
puppies am I?"
A blonde had just bought a brand new Volkswagon Jetta. On her way home
she started having car trouble in the middle of nowhere. She pulled over
onto the side of the road and a few minutes later a trucker pulled up
and asked her if she needed help. She said yes so the trucker drew a
circle in the middle of the road and told her not to go out of it. He
took his keys and scratched up the side of her car. The blonde giggled a
little bit. Then he took his fist and broke all of her windows. The
blonde laughed. Next he took a match and blew up her car. The blonde
burst out laughing. The trucker asked why she was laughing because he
just blew up her new car. She replied, when you weren't looking I
stepped out of the circle.
q.What do you call four blondes in four different cars at a four way
stop?
a.an eternity
Q. What do you call a blondes check book?
A. a mystery
q.how did the blonde try to kill the bird?
a.she threw it off a cliff.
q.how did the blonde die drinking milk?
a.the cow fell on her.
q.what do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
a. pregnant
q.what do you call a blonde with half a brain?
a.Gifted
q.How can you tell if a blonde has had a bad day?
a. She has her tampon behind her ear, and is wondering what she did with
her cigarette....By: She-devil & Daddie's Girl
Q. How do you confus a blonde.
A.Put her in a round room and tell her
to find the corner.
Q How does a blonde confuse you.
A. Comes out and says she found it.
There was a blonde that kept going to get her hair cut while she had
headphones on. They kept telling her that she had to take them off in order
to cut her hair but she refused. One day she went it there took them off
and dropped dead. They picked up the head phones and it said, "breathe in,
breathe out, breathe in, breathe out".
The Top Ten Reasons Why Blondes & Computers Don't Mix :
10. "Like, there's more numbers than 0 and 1!"
9. It's not easy to remove fingernail polish from the keys.
8. Too many broken nails jam the keyboard.
7. The alphabet is not in the right order on the keyboard.
6. When blondes make a mistake with a computer there's
no one to sleep with to forget it ever happened.
5. Computers refuse to answer when blondes talk to them.
4. Blondes can't figure out which key starts the food processor.
3. Joysticks don't work very well when they're wet.
2. The screen can't handle that much whiteout.
1. They keep trying to force feed cheese to the mouse.
Meet Single Girls and Guys for Dating!
Paralumun New Age Village